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This Valentine’s Day is an opportunity for you to be truly intentional about the relationship with your significant other. If you want to express your love in more than roses, chocolates, and Hallmark cards, try the 14 Day Valentine Challenge.  

If you are reading this blog past Valentine’s Day, that is okay! You don’t need to wait until next year to be intentional and deepen your relationship.   

The Valentine’s Day challenge has three daily intentional acts, and three special demonstrations of your love that you can do within the 14 day challenge. 

Three Daily Intentional Acts

For 14 days, do each of these everyday. 

First, write a love letter to your lover. Write about why you love your partner. Be specific and consider both external and internal attributes. Be grateful. Think of the little things they do everyday and how much you appreciate them. Think of why you were initally drawn to him or her. With this step, the first few days are easy. By the time you get to day 14, you will need to go deeper and think harder about it. That is the idea! 

My wife anticipates her love note everyday. Everytime we are apart we write love letters and send them via email to each other daily. We talk to each other daily as well. We have been married for over 47 years. We communicate daily about money, kids, the calendar, errands, etc. Once a week, we usually go deeper. We talk about goals for ourselves, our family, our businesses, and life. We dream together. Constant and intimate communication is the lifeblood of your relationship. 

Second, do something for your lover everyday. This can be simple stuff. Pick up after yourself. Do the dishes. Wash the car. Clean the house. Change the oil. Run an errand. Pick up groceries. Make dinner. You get the idea. Think of something your lover does everyday, and then do it for them. Keep it simple, and do it daily for 14 days. 

Third, act like you love each other. When the shine has worn out on a relationship, physical touch has often waned. Rekindle your relationship with physical touch. Hold hands, cuddle, hug. Not everything has to lead to sex, but that is certainly ok! My wife and I hug and kiss every morning, whenever one of us leaves the house, and before bed.

Three Special Demonstrations of Your Love

Sometime during the 14 day challenge, incorporate one of these into your intentional acts of love towards your partner. 

First, buy them a gift. You can keep this simple, unless you want to go big. There is no need for expensive jewelry or something extravgant. Go out to your favorite resturant. Consider going shopping. When I go shopping with Sharlyne, it is the ultimate demonstration of my love for her! If you want to hit it out of the park, choose a spending limit and go with your lover on an all day shopping spree! That is guaranteed to make a good memory. If your budget is smaller you can also do something. Hand made gifts can be the best!  

Second, spend time together. Get away, epecially if you have kids. You may not be able to get away during this challenge, but you can make resevation or plan a future trip and let your lover know about the future getaway! Nothing says “I love you” like a weekend getaway. If you can’t get away for that long, do a day date. Spend an entire day together. Sharlyne loves a day day. I work long and hard hours, yet always carve out time for her. She enjoys a whole day with me without distractions. Leave your phone in airplane mode and give your spouse your undivided attention. In the next 14 days, if you can’t get away, do at least one day date and date night. Sharlyne and I usually have a weekly date, even if we stay home and watch a movie together. 

Finally, resolve conflict. Couples get into destructive cycles of unresolved conflict that continually escalate, leaving the relationship raw and bleeding. Wounds never heal. If you don’t know how to repair the damage, start by apologizing. Own your own stuff. Apologize for it. Make sure to forgive your lover. Repair and make up. You don’t need to fight over the little stuff, and the longer I live, most everything is little stuff. 

I hope that you enjoy the 14 Day Valentine Challenge and that your relationship goes to a new level! You can even keep these suggestions up once the 14 days are over. If you tend to your relationship, your relationship will flourish. Happy Valentine’s Day!