The decisions you make that make you

The decisions you make that make you

The Decisions You Make That Make You

People decided to vote. Our president was elected by a narrow margin of votes in some states that pushed the final electoral votes over the tipping point. Votes mattered.

Your vote matters every day in life. You vote on what you eat. You vote on when to go to bed. You vote on how you will treat others at home, work, or community. You vote on hundreds of small decisions daily. Over time, those votes/decisions pile up. The decisions you make, then make you.

Example. I step on the scale and wonder, “How did I get here?” I am about 70 pounds overweight. I did not gain all that weight overnight. Over the past 25 years, I have continually made several small decisions that contributed to my current health: obese and diabetic. For most of my life, I could eat whatever I wanted and not gain a pound. There was no visible effect of poor decisions day after day . . . until there was. At age 40 after blowing out my knee and being relegated to the treadmill instead of basketball, I started gaining small amounts of weight. Then, I started a business, that led to more businesses. No time for the gym plus day after day of poor diet choices. The slight decisions made daily then made me.

I am Doctor Peace. I work every day to help others gain peace. I work hard on my inner peace as well. My one BIG area – weight. If I am going to have total inner peace, I need to lose weight, get off my diabetic medication and become healthy. I do not know what keeps you from inner peace. I just know that something or someone keeps most of us from peace.

How do I change my situation and gain more peace? How do you? What decisions have you been making on a daily or weekly basis that creates or destroys peace? Those decisions can relate directly to our peace or the peace we experience with others. The first principle of peace is getting your peace together. We cannot pass peace to others without peace in ourselves.

How do we work on our peace?

1. We must become honest about the source. I lack peace around weight because of the choices I make every day. I cannot blame others. It does not help to heap shame on myself. It does help to call it out. The source in this case was easy. Whatever is stealing your peace – money, stress, work, relationships, or other factors, you must be honest about the decisions made that contributed to the chaos. Not necessarily big decisions. Those tiny habits and decisions made every day that have now made you.

2. We must change to find peace. This is the hard one, or so it seems. We must change. I must change. The only people I know who want change is a baby with a dirty diaper. Change is hard and usually resisted. I will not lose weight until I make healthy choices on a moment by moment basis. Not even day by day. I just need to make a good decision right now. Then, I can make another good decision in a few hours, or even minutes. When we think of the mountain to climb, we often become paralyzed to take the first step. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “You don’t need to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” Step by step we change, I change, you change. If we want personal peace, we vote every day for the change. If we want national peace, we vote every day on how we love and treat one another.

I want to make decisions every day that will make me a better version than the day before. I want to learn more, care more, give more, live more. I want to help over 3 million people find more peace by 2030. Want to join me by getting our peace together so we can pass peace to others?

Fight or Fright

Fight or Fright

Fight or Fright – 3 Tips to Fight Through Fear

What scares you? Spiders? Heights? Speed? Zombies? Psycho Serial Killers? COVID-19? Fear steals your peace. Very hard to experience inner peace when you are scared to death!

We have a natural fight or flight response when confronted by perceived danger. The quick response has kept the human race alive. We should have a healthy respect for poisonous spiders. We should understand the danger of heights or speed that can kill us. Zombies, not so much. Psycho Serial Killers, although real, pose a very, very, very small potential for our death.

When we have an unhealthy fear of something, we call it a phobia, the Greek word for fear. The word includes an element of apprehension and dread. When I was a kid, I would have nightmares about spiders. My solution was sleeping on the floor. Not very rational, I know. Somehow, if spiders were in my bed, they would not be on the floor. I could probably blame my older brother for filling my mind with spider stories. Watching some horror movies with spiders did not help. I developed a fear of spiders. The fear was not debilitating, just annoying. Still today I would not feel comfortable with a tarantula crawling up my arm. Otherwise, no reoccurring nightmares. I have slept in my bed since early childhood.

We all have fears on a continuum, from debilitating to very mild. For most of us, fear can paralyze us from moving forward in our lives and steal our peace. Here are three tips that overcome fear and live a life of courage with peace:

1. Fight Through Fear by Thoughts. Every fear begins in the mind. We often imagine the worst instead of dreaming the best. The battle of your mind is a very real fight. We must overcome the imposter syndrome to move forward toward our dreams. The reality? Every single person whom you would call successful had to overcome the imposter syndrome and repeated failures.  Regardless of the fear, the starting point is the mind. Fight through your thoughts and change your fear to peace.

2. Fight Through Fear by Exposure. Inch by inch, anything is a cinch. Small, incremental, repeated exposure to our source of fear often desensitizes us. When asked about fears, many people list the fear of public speaking. Toastmasters understand the fear and help their members slowly work toward the confidence of speaking in front of others. One year of consistently speaking and watching others fight through their fears breeds confidence and peace.

3. Fight Through Fear by Action. Sometimes we just need to jump. We can inch up to the water. Dip our toe. At some point, we must get in. The last push is often the greatest challenge. The point of no return. Sink or swim. Well, hopefully, a lifeguard is nearby. You get the point. Once beyond the point of no return, and the worst did not happen, often comes the surge of adrenalin and extreme confidence. We did it! As kids, we often return over and over again to experience the fun instead of the fear.

OK. So, what is holding you back? What is stealing your peace? No better time than now to fight through what frightens you. This is no trick. But there is a huge treat when you fight through your fear to find peace.